
                                 Urusei Yatsura

                                   Episode #13
                          Version 1.0: D. B. Killings
                                      1987
                           Version 2.0: Jeff Okamoto
                                    06/29/88

        This script is a translation of a copyrighted work, and as such,
           it is subject to applicable international copyright laws.
                                     *****
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                         for NON-PROFIT purposes only!
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   A loud scream can be heard (ATARU being zapped by LUM again!), distracting
   several of the passersby.
TOWNSLADY 1: Its that voice again.
TOWNSMAN 1:Sounds ominous.
TOWNSLADY 2: It comes one, two, sometimes three times a day!
   LUM is zapping him (as usual), with TEN watching on,
ATARU: Giya!  Stop!  You don't understand!
LUM: I won't forgive!  I am your wife... .  UNDERSTAND!!
ATARU: I am not your husband!  I am not your husband!
   LUM lets go and ATARU crashes into a wall.  TEN flies next to him with a
   gong.
TEN: Round 1 is over.  Next... Round 2!
   TEN sounds the gong...
ATARU: Lum...  She was only a pretty girl...  I will not be tied up by you!
   LUM zaps a bookcase, which falls onto ATARU.
TEN: Round 2 is over.  Next...  Round 3!
   LUM is once more zapping ATARU.
LUM: You will promise not to be so fickle!
ATARU: I refuse to say it!
   TEN flies over to ATARU and lends him some advice.
TEN: Fool.  Lie or something here.  Say ``Yes''.
ATARU: Yes...  You've got a good head...
LUM: Are you going to reform?
ATARU: I'll do it!  I'll do it!
LUM: Do you promise to reform?
ATARU: I'll do it!  I'll do it!
   ATARU is thrown through the window and over the street.
TOWNSMAN 2: What's that?
   ATARU is trying to get some advice from CHERRY (Boy, he must really be
   desperate!)
CHERRY: You want to stop Lum's super-abilities?
ATARU: But what if I do stop her electric attack?  If I run away, she'll just
      fly after me.  Aaaahhh, I want to live my youth!
   Unfortunately for ATARU, LUM just happened to be listening in on the
   conversation.  She decides to make her presence known,
LUM (extremely angry sounding): WHAT!?!
ATARU: Waaa!  Lum!
   ATARU runs away, with LUM in hot pursuit.
LUM: Just you wait...
   CHERRY, meanwhile, has been watching all of this, and decides the time has
   come to act.
CHERRY: Here is where I can lend a helping hand!
   MEGANE is knocking on the door.
MEGANE: Sorry, excuse me!
ATARU'S MOTHER (answering the door): Oh dear, do please come in!
MEGANE: Is Ataru in at the moment?
ATARU'S MOTHER: A moment ago he came back, looking more dead than alive.  For a
      young man, he seems to come near death with ease, doesn't he?
   ATARU crawls out from a side door, looking like hell.
ATARU (a little annoyed at his mother's comment): I heard that!  Are you still
      my mother?!
ATARU'S MOTHER (to herself): Sometimes I wish he'd never been born...
   MEGANE is holding a small box.
ATARU: What brings you here today?
MEGANE: This.
ATARU: What's that?
MEGANE: Cherry asked me to give it to you .
ATARU: What?
   ATARU takes the box and opens it.  Inside is a long yellow ribbon.  MEGANE
   picks it up while ATARU reads a note that had been placed inside the box.
MEGANE: What?  A ribbon.
ATARU (to himself): Huh?  Tie this ribbon to Lum's horns and it will stop her
      super-abilities?
   ATARU is overjoyed.  MEGANE, however, doesn't know what's going on.
MEGANE: Hey, is it safe?
   ATARU goes a little overboard in his celebration, and MEGANE misunderstands
   what's going on.
ATARU: Megane!  This thing has returned my youth to me!  Megane, Megane!
MEGANE: H...  hey!  What are you doing!  I'm a man!
ATARU: On this occasion, we'll celebrate together...
MEGANE: Disgusting...  Terrible...
LUM: What are you guys doing?
   LUM has arrived unbeknownst to the other two and caught them in a rather
   compromising situation.  ATARU puts on his best BS smile and goes up to her.
ATARU: Oh, Luuuuuummmm...  Lum, could you wait just a moment?
   LUM looks at the ribbon.
LUM: What's that?
MEGANE: Oh, Cherry gave this thing...
   ATARU smacks MEGANE to keep him quiet.
ATARU: You deceiver!  (to LUM) Lum, this is a ribbon.  Earth women wear it as
      an accessory.  Would you like to wear a piece of ribbon?
MEGANE (recovering from the ground): Wearing ribbons?  What kind of rubbish is
      that?
   ATARU gives him a strange look.  The next we see, MEGANE is tied and gagged
   up.  ATARU, meanwhile, has pushed LUM to a mirror and is busy tying the
   ribbon to her head.  LUM is by now going into Seventh Heaven.
ATARU: Lum!  Now, because I want my girl to wear...  There!
   LUM looks in the mirror and likes what she sees.  Well, it does make her
   look even cuter!
LUM (to herself): Hmm.  It is becoming!  (to ATARU) Darling, usually your voice
      is different.  Has this made you happy?
ATARU (in a supreme BS smile): I'm just a husband who's happy to see such a
      beautiful appearance!
LUM: Husband!
   LUM flips out slightly (well, who can blame her?) and lets her imagination
   run away with her.  She briefly day-dreams a possible future.  ATARU is
   arriving home from work, and LUM is fixing dinner (with a little kid
   strapped to her back!).
DREAM ATARU:  Honey, I'm home!
DREAM LUM: Just a moment, Darling.
   Back to the real world.  LUM is really happy, and is now cuddling up to her
   ATARU.  ATARU, however, looks as if he's realized he's gone a tad too far
   and starts to gulp.
LUM: Darling, I've waited a long time for this!
   LUM is at the window.
LUM: Darling, I'm going out for a stroll.
   She pushes herself off the ledge like she normally does, but except for a
   brief instant, nothing happens.  THUD!
LUM (looking around, slightly dazed): Huh!  What's happening?
MEGANE: (from ATARU's bedroom): L...  Lum!
ATARU (shouting to LUM): Hey, something wrong?  (to himself) Did it!  Did it!
   LUM goes off trying to take-off, but just can't.  She is seen hopping down
   the street.
LUM: My body is gravely wrong.
   [Considering the context under which it is said, this sentence is probably a
   pun.   In  Japanese  it reads: "Karada-ga omai ja."  Translated literally,
   this can mean either "My body is gravely wrong" or "My body is heavy".]
   ATARU and MEGANE are following behind.
MEGANE: Are you going to follow her?
ATARU: So, why not?
   CHIBI turns around the corner and runs into LUM. He decides to try his luck.
CHIBI (real nervous sounding): Miss Lum, out for a walk?  W...  would you like
      me to tell you your fortune?
   LUM takes his hand with intention of zapping him.  Unfortunately, nothing
   happens.
LUM (to herself): My electric charge won't come.
   CHIBI, on the other hand, mistakes the gesture and decides to press his
   luck.
CHIBI: Miss Lum...  Concerning your fortune...  This is your fortune!
   CHIBI suddenly lunges toward LUM, but is stopped by MEGANE, who has seen
   enough and decides to interfere.
MEGANE: Beast!
CHIBI: What are you doing?
MEGANE: You did that just so you could hold Lum's hand.
   MEGANE, however, finds the close proximity (and helplessness) of LUM a
   little too tempting, and so...  However, CHIBI now intervenes.
CHIBI: Beast!  Your reaction isn't much faster!
   LUM, meanwhile, backs off while the two fight each other.  She is now obvi-
   ously distressed by the loss of her powers.
LUM: What's happening to me?
   LUM is sitting on some sewer pipe and crying.  ATARU comes by with his BS
   face still on.
ATARU: Luuuuuuuuuuum!
LUM: Oh, Darling.
   ATARU sits down next to her.
ATARU: Is something wrong?
LUM (trying to hide her tears): No Darling, I'm OK.
ATARU: What's the matter?  Is something troubling you?  Or do you feel sick or
      something?
   That hits the right nerve.
LUM: Waaaaahh!  Darling, I can't fly!  My electric charge won't come!  Waaaah!
   ATARU comforts her.
ATARU: Yes, yes, poor girl...
LUM: I feel hopeless!
   ATARU suddenly switches to serious mode and starts being philosophical.
ATARU (pointing to the setting sun): Lum, you can't go on like that.  Look over
      there!  Life's limits burn like the blazing sun.  That sun is almost like
      our own lives.  It does no good to worry.  Human beings are like that.
LUM: Non-earth people too?
ATARU: Oh!  Well, if you want to be specific, it makes no difference to me,
      Lum.
LUM (leaning her head on ATARU): Darling, I'm glad...
SHINOBU: BUT I'M NOT GLAD!!
   SHINOBU has arrived and had been listening in on the conversation.  Needless
   to say, she's rather angry.  ATARU realizes he's in deep trouble.
ATARU: Shinobu!
SHINOBU: Humph!  Fooling around with her again!
LUM: Naturally!  We're a married couple!
ATARU: Uhhh, hey...
   LUM starts to gloat over SHINOBU.
LUM: Darling gave me this ribbon.
SHINOBU: What!  He didn't give it to me?
LUM: I think you're envious.  Hehehehe...  Pretty, isn't it?
   SHINOBU has had enough and attacks LUM, trying to take the ribbon off.
SHINOBU: What!
   ATARU, however, interferes without thinking.  After all, he doesn't want a
   return of LUM's powers!
ATARU: Ah, stop!  Don't touch the ribbon!
   SHINOBU stops in shock.
SHINOBU: Huh!!!  He's protecting Lum...
ATARU: No!  The truth is... .
   SHINOBU runs off crying.  ATARU tries to follow.
ATARU: Wait, Shinobu!  There is a reason!
LUM: Darling!
   From off-stage, a sudden BAM! can be heard.  Next we see ATARU under a
   massive sewer pipe, which SHINOBU had just hit him with.  LUM is looking
   down at him.
LUM: Darling, what is the reason?
ATARU (with another BS look on his face): N...  no real reason.
   It is night.  MEGANE and CHIBI are crawling through the bush in order to spy
   on ATARU and LUM.
MEGANE: Damn!  The curtain is drawn!
CHIBI: Miss Lum is inside there with that sex-fiend Ataru.
   TEN decides to crash this party.
TEN: Hello!
MEGANE and CHIBI: Huh?
TEN: What are you doing here?
MEGANE: What?  A demon-child?
   From upstairs they hear a cooing LUM, and fear the worst.
LUM: Darling, you're so gentle.  At the moment of crises, you stood up for me.
      I'm so happy!
   ATARU, however, is not really listening to her, and is now more concerned
   with making up with SHINOBU.
ATARU (to himself): Shinobu, how can I apologize?
   Behind ATARU, LUM throws down a bed for them.  Things are getting TOO
   serious!
ATARU: Waa!  What are you doing!?!
LUM: It's getting late so let's sleep together!
ATARU: T...  together!?!
LUM: I can't return to my UFO.  So tonight, we'll sleep together!
ATARU: W...  wait Lum!
LUM: What's the matter?  For my whole life I want to be with you, Darling!
ATARU: Whole life!!  Lum, take the ribbon off!!!
LUM: Darling, what are you doing?!
   MEGANE, CHIBI, and TEN have heard enough.  (What they could of it, at least)
MEGANE: That fiend!
CHIBI: The beast!
TEN: You fool!
   They see the mattress and bedding and assume ATARU had put them there.
CHIBI: Dishonest person!  We were outside, too!
MEGANE (ribbing ATARU in a ``naughty, naughty'' manner): Don't play dumb with
      us.  (nudge, nudge)
ATARU: What??
MEGANE: You were planning to do ``something'' with Lum, weren't you...
   MEGANE tries to take advantage of the situation, angering LUM.
LUM (grabbing a book): You coward!  Taking advantage of me when I'm weak!!
   LUM starts slamming both MEGANE and CHIBI with the book and other ammunition
   happily supplied by TEN.
LUM: Take that...  and that...  and that!
ATARU: Stop...
LUM: Darling, we can't permit this!!
ATARU: But...
   ATARU accidentally grabs the ribbon, not a smart thing to do when LUM is
   angry.
ATARU: The ribbon!
   One of the pieces of ammunition TEN hands LUM is the box the ribbon came in.
   The box opens and MEGANE reads the letter inside.
TEN: What's this?
MEGANE: A letter from Cherry.  It says that this ribbon will stop Lum's super-
      abilities!
   LUM is shocked.
LUM: It can't be!  Darling, is this a lie?
   ATARU tries his BS grin again, but somehow I don't think it'll work this
   time. LUM looks at her hands and and tries to zap a wall clock.  She does.
   The electric attack has returned.
ATARU: Oh my, Lum.  Your sickness seems to be gone, hhehehehe... . .
   There is a loud crash.  ATARU is on the floor with LUM towering over him.
TEN: You plotted with Cherry?!
ATARU: L...  Lum, . .
LUM: I am not someone to be trifled with!
ATARU: Cherry...  it was Cherry's idea... .  GIYA!!
TOWNSLADY 1: There's that voice again.
CHERRY: Dumb idiot.  Nothing's changed.  He'll just have to endure the electric
      attacks.
LUM (from offstage, sounding extremely angry): Next I'm going to avenge myself
      on Cherry!
CHERRY: Uh oh...
   CHERRY runs off in fear of his life.

                                     END


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